Looking for a witty Facebook status about money?

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Money

Money

- Visa is everywhere you want to be….except out of our debt.

- Most stress is caused by three things: family, money and family with no money.

- When they offer you “instant credit”, don’t they really mean “instant debt”?

- My credit card company called. They want me to leave home without it.

- I have to take my paycheck to the bank. It’s too little to go by itself

- A budget is just a method of worrying before you spend money, as well as afterward.

- I’ve always wanted to be one of those people who laughs all the way to the bank, instead of one who cries every time he leaves.

- Money doesn’t buy happiness but it’s a damn good down payment!

- You know its time to start saving when your debit card declines a $1.25 purchase.

- One day I want to be “Let’s Just Take My Helicopter” rich.

- Forgotten pocket money is the best!!

- Always hold out your hand when someone is counting money in front of you, just in case.

- “Latte” is Latin for: You paid too much for that coffee.

- I’m so broke this New Year’s I’m gonna party like it’s $19.99.

- Why don’t hoarders ever hoard money?

- My bank lets me send a text message and it’ll text back with my balance. It’s a cool feature but I didn’t think the LOL was necessary.

- Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

- Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes, and lottery tickets are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well?

- America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight.

- I have all the money I’ll ever need - if I die by 4:00 p.m. today.

- Materialism: buying things we don’t need with money we don’t have to impress people that don’t matter.

- It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.

- Money talks…but all mine ever says is good-bye.

- A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist.

- A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.